Random, Thoughtful Blog

Finally got to see the movie, "The Lovely Bones". Read the book a long time ago, and loved it. So when I heard they were making a movie adaptation, I was excited, but worried about how it would be portrayed on the big screen. Everyone knows that the movie is NEVER as good as the book, so I always worry about how close, or far away, it will be from the book! However, my fears proved groundless. The movie was awesome, just as visionary and beautiful as the book.
After the movie, Buddy and I were talking about it, critiquing and comparing notes, so to say. For those of you who have not yet read the book or seen the movie, it's about a young girl who is living the idyllic life in 1970's American suburbia. When she is fourteen years old, she is kidnapped, and murdered, and her family's life is shattered. Her father, in his sorrow, becomes obsessed with catching her killer, and she tries to help him from a world called "The In-Between". At first, she is just as obsessed as her father is. However, along the way, the realization hits both of them that they need to move on, and let go. She has not moved on to Heaven, because she is tied down by the search for her killer. He has been absent from his family for years. His wife has left him. He has not been there for his two other children. His life is in a shambles. in the end, they both learn that by doing this, they are letting the killer control their lives, and they are able to let go. They let nature take it's course, and everything works out in the end. Beautiful movie, and a very good lesson to be learned at the end.
Buddy and I got to discussing the death of a beloved child. How would we react? How would we deal with it? Would we cling even more closely to our family, each other, or would we push each other away in our grief? As much as we would like to say we would cling to each other, we honestly don't know. Studies have shown that the stress of losing a child is a major blow to a marriage. A lot of marriages don't survive it. Watching this movie, I can see why. One parent is depressed, needs her husband to help her shoulder her grief. The other has become obsessed with righting the wrong that was done to his child. Each of us deals with pain in our own way, and that is the heart of the problem. We do eventually realize that we need to move on, that justice will come in it's own way, in it's own time. Once we do, things start to get better. We heal. We move on. We never forget, but we are able to see past what happened, and remember the good memories. We finally are able to accept that this does the child an extreme dishonor to remember what happened to her, instead of the person she was, and what she meant to you, her family, and everyone else in the world. When we get to that point, the person who did this has no more power over us, and we are free.
Random, I know. But there it is.
P.S. If you have a chance to see this movie, or read this book, please do! I have not done them justice here, and they are definitely worth a look!